The Big Decision

I've struggled with being overweight from the time I was 12 years old. Puberty hit, I got my first period the night before 7th grade started, and I blew up like a balloon. I don't know what I weighed at that time, I but I went from wearing a size 6 to an 18/20 in a matter of a year.

As time went on I managed to lose some of that weight and by the time I graduated high school, I was down to a size 12 and hanging around 140ish pounds (still "fat" by high school bully standards). Birth control and starting a full time info tech job at 19 years old changed my body again, and I was up to 160 pounds and wearing a size 14 by the time I was 20.

Fast forward - married at 22, owning my own business until I was 26, having my first child when I was 26. Suffering preeclampsia with that pregnancy and also my second pregnancy when I was 32. Finding out I have PCOS during that pregnancy. Starting on blood pressure medication at 33 because of the preeclampsia. Now here at I am at 36, still struggling after years of Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, keto, phentermine prescriptions, Belviq prescriptions. And more, and more, and more. My eating for comfort and stress relief, coupled with raising two kids and being on the go, has my weight bloated up to 240ish pounds and me wearing a size 20. My goal weight is 135 - 140. And I think that's still reasonable for a 5'3" female. 140 is only four pounds shy of the "overweight" category based on BMI, but I'm comfortable with that.

Why am I so concerned about my weight? Is it vanity? Of course I'd like to look better. But it's more about health for me - I want to be here to see my children grow up and have children of their own. My own mother has a slew of health problems - multiple heart attacks, arthritis, immune disorders, chronic pain. Her latest diagnosis is Fatty Liver Disease. I don't want to end up with these issues - I NEED to get the weight off before my health further deteriorates.